There is no denying it: I do enjoy sex that is not fully private – park, tent, open windows, they do add a certain kick.
However, sex in public is a different story, and having been a backpacker for going on five years, I know winding down in a dorm is difficult enough, even without people pretending like the room is theirs alone. So I do feel for anyone whose on the non-receiving receiving end a dorm make-out session.
That being said
I had just come out of a 5-month camping adventure along the African West coast, most nights sharing the tent with a 50-something widow from London. Other than one brief incident in Timbuktu, there was no space for sex on that journey. After checking in at the Banana Backpackers in Durban, I sat down with my laptop by the bar when this English dude, really a boy, ten years younger than my 30-something, and in town to get his yacht captaining license, flopped next to me onto the couch. He was obviously hungover, so I tried to ignore him when he chatted me up. But he was funny, so we had beer together, went to the beach and within two hours of meeting each other started to make out.
The only problem: he was staying a dorm with half a dozen guys, and neither of us could afford a private room. In the coming months, gender separation and a severe shortage of female backpackers in these parts of the world would often bless me with a dorm all to myself. But as luck would have it this was of the rare incidences when I had to share my room. She was a young Korean woman; she seemed very shy but lovely.
Over a few beers the dude and I spent hours snogging in the hostel pool, snogging on numerous hostel terraces, on the couch, by the pool table etc. Until I decided it was time for bed and, after confirming my roommate was sleeping, invited the dude to cuddle with me. It was totally innocent, or at least that's what I made myself believe.
I am still shocked that the hostel management – which was after all not allowing guys and gals to share dorms – didn't stop any of these shenanigans.
Spooning lasted for five minutes before dude's hands started wandering, which was not unwelcome. Looking at the bed opposite mine, I could have stopped him, I could have said no. But I really just wanted to have sex. So we did. Well, without moving around too much and avoiding to make too much noise.
I glanced over to the other bed a few times but there was no movement or sound coming from the Korean. She either had a very healthy sleep or was lying there awake, terrified. Who knows, maybe she was enjoying it as well?
The next day, the Korean left very early in the morning. The dude somehow managed to get us a private room for free, and we had a lot more fun for two days and nights, until I hopped on the train to malawi
Looking back, I can't say I'd never do it again. After all, this was not my first or last hostel sex. But I do avoid doing it in a room with an audience that paid for a bed to sleep in not for an adult-only entertainment programe.
Dorm sex is a spur of the moment thing that you do with a guy that you probably won't ever be seeing again. Because if the guy is a keeper, lying just close to him in anticipation and holding on to that energy until the right moment is much more exciting